What I say, every day to myself, to help me be myself
How can I expect that you, ( my followers and readers) know who I am if I do not tell you about my family, my life, friends, the relationships in my life? I feel a huge responsibility for everything I do on my social media platforms as that has so many effects on you. Who am I, if not where I fit in the world, where I fit in the lives of the people dear to me?
Maybe my story will warn you not to get caught up in a life that counts for nothing. Maybe It will challenge you to live and die boasting and making the glory of Love your singular passion.
I am wired by nature to love the same toys that the world loves. I start to fit in. I start to love what others love. I start to call earth “home.” Before you know it, I am calling luxeries “needs” and using my money just the way “unwoken” do. I was running a serious risk for Not accomplishing my “Life Plan” as a tragic act of my free will. It is similar to diagram an elaborate vacation itinerary, before arriving at your holiday destination, with all kinds of plans for outdoor adventures and intentions to go sightseeing and shopping, but then ending up spending the whole trip in your hotel room ordering from room service and watching television. I begin to forget the war, ( I’m born in ex Yugoslavia). I don’t think much about people perishing. Missions and unreached people drop out of my mind. I stop dreaming about the triumphs of grace. I sink into a secular mind-set that looks first to what man can do, not what soul can do. It is a terrible sickness.
I started to run after ideal of Beauty .. not thinking that beauty is the replication and duplication of mind’s delusion. It is not uniqueness or exceptionality; it is the mentality of belonging and fitting in. I wanted so “to fit in” to be like other beauty ideals/idols ..
And I thank God for those who have forced me again and again toward a wartime mind-set. There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our soul and hope, that’s our real disaster.
Most people slip by in life without a passion for anything, spending their lives on trivial diversions, living for comfort and pleasure, and perhaps trying to avoid sin.
There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you that, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance. They constantly repeat concept that someone else once told them without any research. Never asking a questions. They don’t have their goals and purpose, but if you don’t have your own, someone else will take care to give you his one. Life without vision is nothing but a TELEVISION. … Well, don’t be surprised.. from my own experience.. passed all that fazes.
You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.
Now: We all want to be extraordinary
and we all just want to fit in.
Unfortunately, extraordinary people rarely fit in.
It was not an easy way to come to this point. Once I invested all my Now for the sake of Future. But that my programmed so wanted “Future” with my son Stefan never came.. Instead I’ve lost precious Now
While I was packing his personal belongings to give to a charity .. I understood : He couldn’t take anything with him.. I will not take anything with me.. Nobody will take his house, bags and shoes, newest IPhone.. once leaving this “Earth reality “
There for I give everything shortly after I posses, to my loved ones, my friends, family.. Cause if I don’t need it Now, I don’t care if I’m going to need it next season. What I mean is, I don’t need to collect things for the sake of collecting them. I only wear gowns that make me feel beautiful, no metter how much my sponsors offer to pay for collaborations, as I only spend my time with people whose company I like. I want to please myself, not others. It doesn’t matter to me if the things I like are the ones that other people think are the best.
Things I say to myself every day:
Let it go
Every single morning as soon as I wake up, I had to Let it go.. My family, is my only inspiration. My son Stefan is my greatest inspiration. I wrote that I am a mother of two: My daughter Jana is 30 years old..
If you have a Son @miljanovicstefan and he dies, all of the sudden, do you stop saying you have one? Or you are always his mother, even when the other half of the equation is gone?
My son died in traffic accident. Was January the 6th 2016. He was 23
When he died, I discovered a totally new dimension of pain. The extremely hard part is I’m still loosing him.. I don’t lose him all at once; I lose him in pieces …every, single, minute.. still today — in the way his messages stops coming, in the way his scent fades from his clothes. … Every morning when I wake up there is this millisecond of hope, that all was just a horrible dream… Gradually, I accumulate the parts of him that are missing…gone forever … But at the same time my love for him is so strong and it is so alive.. ..Death ends a life, not a relationship. All my Instagram adventure is dedicated to him.
My Instagram account actually, started my son Stefan. So this is what I have to “LET GO” every morning
Ill speak my truth today even my voice shakes
I don’t sugar coat anything
I respond on questions that are painful
I spoke about my most painful tragedy, that is forever open wound.. All already mentioned above
But: Turn your wounds into wisdom.
I’m authentic, I tell my truth, cause I know that I’m here to live my purpose not to fulfill the expectation of the others. I had a choice: can accept or reject the way Im treated by life, but I understood, until heal the wounds of my past, I will continue to bleed. I can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. I must find the strength to open my wounds,. Instead I stick my inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding me in my past, the memories, and trying to make peace with them. Doing it here right now, in a hope that I’ll succeed.. Some wounds run too deep for the healing..
My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me in many ways, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in my childhood, in the past, has actually made me better equipped to face the present.
I spoke about topics most women want
Be who you are stop pretending you are somebody else
Many of you write me constantly how you want to be in my place. I feel huge responsibility to show you that Life is not just about pretty dresses, travels, about women that life handed just honey and milk. .. I wish I was that women .. Read my other articles, each is dedicated to some of the aspects that stands behind the “perfect picture”.
Don’t worry about fitting in when you are born to stand out
Every morning I say to myself:
You won the race for life
From among 250 million competitors
We all are precious deserve respect
We are all born winners
REMEMBER YOUR GREATNESS
Before you were born,
And were still too tiny for
The human eye to see,
You won the race for life
From among 250 million competitors.
How fast you have forgotten
When your very existence
Is proof of your greatness.
You were born a winner,
One who defied the odds
By surviving the most gruesome
Battle of them all.
And now that you are a giant,
Why do you even doubt victory
Against smaller numbers,
And wider margins?
The only walls that exist,
Are those you have placed in your mind.
And whatever obstacles you conceive,
Exist only because you have forgotten
What you have already
Poetry by Suzy Kassem
Wish you a wonderful Sunday my beautiful divine souls❤️ Love you just the way you are